myriad
October 27, 2003-8:39 pm
and she said what ive been thinking and im selfish or arrogant or something but it might be true
and i was thinking, life is what you make it. and i hate how cliched that sounds but its true. i mean, we were lucky enough to find each other, im not going to let someone pull us apart again. i dont want to waste this. if i have a chance to be with you, for just a little longer, then fuck the consequences cause im sick of life pushing me around. this isnt working too well. i guess what im trying to say is, i dont believe this will fuck up our lives (unless were murdered or something) so i want to do it, i want to do everything i can. fuck this i cant think right now ill try again later.
(you say you love how i write but how can you when i say things like that?)
i wish there was a way to let you see into my mind, to unscramble these thoughts and put them into words in the unique, amazing way that only you can. i wish you could show the world who i am. cause i cant do it myself. i think somewhere inside of me theres something special, only i cant find a way to get it out. i dont have the creativity or whatever that it needs.
my stomach hurts.