check it out, today
December 08, 2003-9:57 pm
"Let me start off by saying that I love you fully and completely with every peice of my heart. I always dreamed about having somebody like you with me. Somebody who really cared about me and loved me and could put up with all the bullshit that I dish out. [which I know can be ALOT.]"
"The reason I wanted to break up so many times is because I'm paranoid. I'm insecure. I'm over-possesive. I'm jealous. Sometimes I wasn't always serious, I just got bored with us and needed something to interest me. I know that sounds weird, but it's the way I am. I have to have something to be upset about or I get bored."
"I want to have sex with you. I love you and it only seems right. You're the only guy I've ever wanted to have sex with. The only guy I considered. Even if we don't stay together forever [which I hope we do] I still want to share that with you. You mean everything to me and I want to give you everything that I have, including me."
"I don't want to break up with you. I don't think I ever really have. I just want to feel comfortable when I'm around you and be able to tell you what I think. I want to be able to tell you how I feel. I want to have a conversation with you instead of sitting in silence thinking about how we never talk or act the way we used to towards each other. I don't want to think about the way you used to say all those sweet things to me and just look at me when you thought I wasn't looking at you. I want to now why you don't hold me the way you used to and why you don't feel happy just being there with me. I know you're a guy and it's only natural to be horny and everything, but [as much as I don't act like it] I'm a girl and I don't want that sometimes, I just want to be held and told that I'm loved and wanted."
"writing this is making me cry. I'm pathetic. I just don't know what's wrong with me. I love you. I can't stand the thought of losing you. I don't ever want to be without you. I can't even think back to before you came into my life. You started this. You made me feel this way. I know sometimes you probably really don't want to be with me [I can hardly stand to be with me most of the time] and it's okay for you to yell at me and tell me I'm being stupid. You can tell me that I'm overreacting or tell me I fucked up. I need to hear it and nobody else will tell me. I mean, my own parents won't even tell me. Just tell me what you think, even if it hurts me."
Girl, im glad i found you.