the day i die
September 21, 2004-10:08 pm
the worst heartbreak is the kind you cause yourself. its been a shitty past few days. me and jake broke up and it was all my fault. at the time, all i wanted to do was take the title of "dating" off, i guess to cause less pain to ourselves. i still love him and i wanted everything to stay the same. unfortunately not everything works out how youd like it to. tonight i feel like shit, this is the closest ive come to actually causing harm to myself. all i want is to forget this ever happened, to go back to being happy and in love. i just want to be able to talk to you without crying hysterically afterwards, i want to call you without knowing you hate me. i want to be able to tell you i love you, not to remind you how bad i feel but just to say it. i just want you back in my arms where you always should have been. i always thought we would be together forever, and i fucking knew i would not be the one to end this. and here i am, the cause of all this shit. fuck.i cant even think right now, i just want to kill myself for doing this to us.
suicide - October 13, 2016
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