probably ought to go to bed
May 07, 2012-6:51 am

he offered me a drawer in his apartment, sort of in passing

am i too eager to speed everything up? i dont think i will ever be satisfied

perhaps someday, if we are married, then i will be happy. but it is true that no matter how committed anyone was to me, it was never enough. so why do i think there even is an "enough"? maybe i am just one of those people who always needs more. maybe there is no happiness for me. this all sounds kind of pessimistic, i suppose. but in reality i am the most hopeful person i know. that may be my downfall.

but he loves when i leave my panties on his floor and mostly, we take care of each other. i think theres going to be a lot more trouble before anything can be calm, but when he smiles at me i know he is worth the time. i hope you are not too fucked up, because i really just want it to be you. i want to make you happy.

suicide - October 13, 2016
i wish i was dead - October 13, 2016
i could have written more, but you dont know what to listen for - October 12, 2016
ctrl+heartbeat - October 11, 2016
i dont even care - October 08, 2016


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