studsnpatchs >>> confusion

confusion
May 07, 2012-2:53 am

once this past week i woke up in the middle of the night and watched you sleep for a while, the entire time thinking about all the little things i love about you. it was counting sheep for lovers. i cant remember a single one now that im home in my own bed

and then, in my car, driving home from the chinese buffet on a saturday night, on our way to watch tv on the couch, you said "...wait a minute - that song, isnt that the one you have on your back?" and i didnt tell you but i think that will be the moment i always look back and think, thats when i knew i was in love with you

and that is silly, because i have thought it so many times before this, and i will think it so many times still in the future, but god, how that felt... you know me. how strange to think that you know me. and not just that, but you pay attention. you listen to the songs i play in my car, you listen to me when i speak, you pay attention to what is important to me. and i am blown away by it

and then later the same night, as we sit at home watching 21 jump street drinking vodka and cokes, you use the phrase hero talk - correctly - and i think again, dear god, i love this man

and then

there will be so many more of these perfect moments in my life

but we are volatile

suicide - October 13, 2016
i wish i was dead - October 13, 2016
i could have written more, but you dont know what to listen for - October 12, 2016
ctrl+heartbeat - October 11, 2016
i dont even care - October 08, 2016

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