dis-pear
October 09, 2012-11:48 pm
i am sitting in bed clenching my jaw together, creasing my forehead, balling my fists, i am so angry i could scream
but i am not allowed to say anything
i thought that this feeling would go away, that i would learn to cope, i thought things would get better and i would adjust, but instead everything just seems to be spiraling downward and the part of me that is fighting is getting smaller every second. i used to have hopes and dreams and i used to think life was full of potential and excitement. i used to think happiness was a choice. i used to think there was some sort of reason for all of this. i used to think i could save myself. i used to want anything and now i just want you to shut the fuck up. i just want to crawl inside of myself and heal. i am not what i thought i was.
i am becoming more and more like you