she wrote me this today
June 02, 2003-3:05 pm
JEN WROTE:
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I Hate How You Hate MeKelly,
Theres not a day that goes by that I don't think if your okay. I love how we always have have fun and never think about the bad stuff, yet I can talk to you if I'm sad. Theres really no words to put how much I love you. I really care about you but unfortunately I am sick of my life (maybe more fortunate than not). I have everything but for some reason I feel like theres nothing, I feel like theres a deep dark hole that will never be filled. I don't know why I feel this way but I do and I cant help it. You make me forget all that and I need that sometimes. Thats why I can't stand when your mad, than I feel like the only thing that can help me is the person that I'm pushing farthest away. Every time I look at you theres no other face that I'd rather see. On MSn I had a name and that exactly how I feel, you know how a light bulb burns out from time to time? well I'm that light bulb only my glass is is broken. I'm like the jegged edges of the glass and that could kill you instantly if you only knew. You have to understand that life isn't worth living if I'm feeling this much pain everyday non-stop. I guess you get pretty darn good at hiding it, don't you now? Kelly you have been there for me through think and thin. You are the strongest, beautifulest, most greatest [person] I have ever known in my whole life. You have the strongest mind, spirit, and heart and it's kept me going for as long as I have, Kelly, your going to go so far. You know how you look at the stars and you see their beauty. and your like god I wish I could look like that. Well thats how I see you. You are/were the only thing that made/makes me happy, the one person I cant stand one day without seeing or talking to. Kelly if/when I go don't leave earth because of your life or me. Please, it's my one wish, and if you can't make it come true than I'll be crushed. But I really want you to succeed and become that you want, you an do anything that comes to your mind I don't know when the time will come but these are my thought and I know I will always love you! *kiss* love and all the best
-Jen-
Pleaz tell everyone that there always on my mind (mostly you). And that I love them (again mostly you). And I hope they understand.
No Pain
No Sorrow
Just Understand
P.S. Don't ask much if you want to know more tell me and I'll explain (like about me not liking to be alone...etc. i donno)
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MY REPLY
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Jen you are so good at making me sad I LOVE YOU a million times and I wish you would see all the good in the world but I dont wanna make you do anything you dont wanna do, If you kill yourself i will understand cause I know life sucks sometimes and I'll be sad forever if you do. remember I love you too
suicide - October 13, 2016
i wish i was dead - October 13, 2016
i could have written more, but you dont know what to listen for - October 12, 2016
ctrl+heartbeat - October 11, 2016
i dont even care - October 08, 2016
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