well i cant regret
January 05, 2004-7:05 pm
but i just wanted to say that it was all just one big lie. the whole time we were running, i was scared shitless, i wanted everything to be okay, everything to be just exactly how it was half an hour before. i guess in a way i did accept that everything could get seriously fucked up, but only because i was angry at myself for letting it happen. i didnt feel quite how i said though, i was still wishing, praying for us to get away and for everything to work out. i didnt want to get caught, because the scare was punishment enough to make me stop doing stupid things (for a while, at least). although while im at it, people are really starting to piss me off lately. everyone i know is just wasting their lives, doing nothing but drugs and drinking cause they so desperately need to be cool. it'd be nice to find someone who didnt need all that shit, someone who knew how to take at least a few things seriously. no one learns from their mistakes anymore, no one tries to. im sick of acting like i cant wait for the next time we get drunk, im sick of congratulating my friends for finally fucking that hottie they met last tuesday. i dont want to live like them, and they dont understand that.someday ill be better than any of them, and they'll know why. i cant wait for all this to catch up to them.
*sigh* come back jake, save me from these monsters.