Are you there god?
August 14, 2010-8:32 pm
I used to have this knack for putting my feelings into words. Sometimes it worked out to be the most beautiful display of emotion. Poetic. To think that six years have gone past, and I am less of everything that I wanted to be more of. Where is my progress?
I try to tell myself that it matters who, but in reality it can be anyone. I just need it so badly. There is nothing sadder than this; nothing sadder than me. If I said it once Ive said it a million times: I love you. I love you so much that it makes me shiver, makes my chest heavy; the weight of the emotion pressing on me and crushing me. I spend all my time wishing & wasting away and falling apart and moving backwards. All the while knowing that it is wrong, knowing that I need to be able to pick myself up. I cannot depend on something that isnt real. Do other people feel like this? I dont know the answers anymore.
I wrote this six years ago and reading it today was like walking into a brick wall.
i only need to find myself a place to live in a foreign country. and you will say "can i stay with you?" and of course, the answer is always of course, but will you marry me too? im just scared youll never know how i feel
I just want to lay in my bed until the end of time. Life is such a heavy burden, and I am way too young to be this cynical. And sometimes I am normal, happy and fine, but it becomes further away each time. I am looking at my own life from a distance and wondering why I have no power to change my own course. This is all just random bullshit sentences that hint at what I feel but never really grasp the concept. Are you listening? Do you feel this with me? If there is a plan for me Id love to know about it.
I dont want to fall through the cracks. Please save me.
suicide - October 13, 2016
i wish i was dead - October 13, 2016
i could have written more, but you dont know what to listen for - October 12, 2016
ctrl+heartbeat - October 11, 2016
i dont even care - October 08, 2016
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