its amazing
August 15, 2010-6:46 pm
[[i was out paying close attention, or was i lost inside my thoughts?]]
im not ready to give up on myself. oh, here you are, and here am i why do things always look so bad from inside? that reminds me, "Then I cried for a while. This is horrible, I told him. This is the most horrible thing because it involves someone else too. Yes, said Doctor Matthew. It comforted me that he didn't tell me it wasn't the most horrible thing. Whatever is happening to you is always the most horrible thing." (susanna kaysen)
once, he told me that writing is about taking the inane, banality of life and using your own thoughts to make it unique. would you believe something so nice came from him? this is why i hate first impressions. some days i can barely see you.
sometimes i think it is important to chronicle each and every thought and idea and event that occurs because i so wish she had, and somehow i think i can make up for that with my own words. you just cant tell how itll feel when youre looking back - did you know i miss you? the terrible part is how often that applies.
none of this turned out how i had planned - im actually in a really good mood today. its good to be home.