chubb director monitoring
September 05, 2013-1:32 am
you are so unexpected - i had an idea of you, reinforced by his words my own prejudice and ignorance - perhaps. and so far you have turned out to be the exact opposite of what i thought you were. i don't know if i am happy about it or not. maybe i liked you because i thought you would be so strange and different. and yet,
when you talk like that i get that lovely, terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach
but i am impatient, and growing more and more cautious and independent. part of me wants to say no, because part of me is so in love with the idea of getting so far away from here and getting attached to you is just another obstacle.
but i know that, no matter where i am, i will not be able to reconcile this feeling
(though my love is true)
i am so afraid of the future, for the first time in my life i wish i could stay here